Personal finance etiquette for 2019 Your stupid simple guide to talking money

Personal finance etiquette for 2019 Your stupid simple guide to talking moneyPersonal finance etiquette for 2019 Your stupid simple guide to talking moneyMoney and partieal finance can be a difficult thing to talk about. Some people are just weird when it comes to money, and some situations require seriously creative thinking when it comes tocold hard cash.On one hand, we want to be helpful and offer genuine assistance when needed, but on the other, we also dont want people to take advantage of us or take your generosity for granted.Whats a giftstoffed frugal machine like yourself do to navigate those dangerous waters? Heres a simplesituational guideto help point you in the right direction with common money situations we tackle in life.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and morePersonal finance etiquette in 2019 A situational guideHere are a few scenariosYou suddenly came into some money ( lottery, big job promotion, etc) and a friend or family member has expressed a peculiar new-found interest in your success and hints attheir own need for money.You know, theyve suddenly absinken on hard times and just need some temporary help from a kind soul with some extra dough.Kindly offer your advice on how to generatemore incomeor get ahead at work. Sympathies arent what they are looking for, and you know that.But,that doesnt matter. They didnt earn the money. You did (except for playing the lotteryyou didnt earn jack, but you DID choose to actually play). Regardless, be relentlessly positive. Offer support and guidance.But, itsyourmoney and elend theirs. The moment you so much as hint at the possibility of loaning them money, youve pretty much committed yourself.And, the requests for money most likely wont stop.Lastly, Id pay special attention to those people who suddenly show their faces after they found out that youve come into some additional cash. Friends do this, but so do family members, and it sucks. If you think they are only cozying up to you for your money, they probably are.Friends and family expect your professional advice/services for free.If you are asoftware developerand a family member needs a website built, they might come to you and ask for your help or in other words,free labor.Doctors, lawyers, general contractors and virtually anyone who has specialized knowledge and experience has probably been solicited for free work.You are under no obligation to provide your services for free, even for family. Though you certainly can if it makes sense, be sure it does notlage interfere with your ability to make a living.If youd rather not take on free work but dont have the heart to just say no, then consider telling that partie that youre swamped at the moment. Too busy. Enough of these types of excuses and they might get the hint.And likewise,YOUshould never expect friends or family to provide expertise that they spent thousands of hours to master (or thousands of dollars to learn) for free. They may offer a friend or family discount, but they are professionals, like you.Treat them like one.That said If someone asks me an IT question, I wont suddenly send them a billjust for talking with me. Im not that anal. If someone wants advice, Ill generally provide it. But, Im done with forking over mountains of work for free.Been there, done that, but I was too busy to buy the t-shirt.A friend asks for a small loan, but they havent yet paid you back for that other small loan.I never consider a loan to be a loan. Never give someone money that youactually need to be returned. Ever. Instead, you may outwardly agree that its a loan, but inside, youre mentally preparing yourself tonever see that money again.If a friend asks you for money when they havent yet paid you back for another loan, kindly remind them of your previous arrangement and that you need to prioritize YOUR financial situation (in your head, that means not loaning mo re money to someone who probably has no real interest or ability in paying it back).A friend borrows $1,000 from you and starts walking around with a brand new pair of expensive penny loafers.First, refer to the previous situation never loan someone money that you need back. Once money has left your hands for another hand, it could very well be gone forever. In this case, your friend seems to have had the means to come up with that $1,000 on their own with the sudden sporting of expensive footwear. Of course, it could also be a suit, jacket or anything else.In other words, they probably had the money.Take notice of the new pair of shoes and offer an innocent conversation starter Hey, nice shoes When did you pick those up? Then, start digging a bit deeper Oh, I hope that the $1,000 helped you out. This should get the tanzabend rollin a bit.If your friend doesnt take the hint, consider offering a more pointed query, such as You could always just give me your new pair of shoes instead of paying back the grand. Hah Its funny, but its also really not.Personally, this is about as far as Id take it.Mentally, Id already said goodbye to that grand anyway. But, Id definitely reconsider my friendship with this person if he or she has expressed no real interest in making good on the deal, especially if they arebuying expensive stuffafter asking for money.Someone loves to ask you how much your house/car/boat/whatever costs.Naturally, you are under no obligation to answer these types of questions, and frankly, Id consider them extremely tactless to even ask. But, some people out there lack tact. Lack it big time.If Im ever asked a question about how much something costs and I prefer not to answer, Ill generally give them a polite F-off answer, like Way more than it should have But hey, did you watch the Packer game brde week?This accomplishes two things First, it lets the person know that you have no interest in talking about money, and second, it immediately changes the s ubject to something you might have an interest in.Your lunchmate asks you to pick up the check (again) after several previous meals without him or her even reaching for the bill.Id start with, Hey, why dont we split this one? Ive picked up the last couple and its making a dent in our restaurant budget. Unless youre dining with a real tool, that will probably be enough of a hint for that person to toss out a credit card to cover their portion of the bill.If it doesnt, and it seems like the only person whos willing to pay is you, then pay the bill and decline the next lunch invitation (or if youre the one doing the invite, dont invite him or her). Something like, Sorry, I need to start brown-baggin it a little more to save some cash should do it.Or, youre dining with a couple of colleagues and you easily get the least expensive meal, but they want to split the check equally.If its a difference of just a few bucks, I wouldnt worry about it. Pay your share and move on and consider the a dditional few dollars payment for good company and conversation. However, if you ordered a salad and they ordered prime-cut filets, then the difference is probably significant.Hmm, I think $20 should cover my salad and share of the tip, right? I opt for being a little generous with my offer. Ill cover my meal dollar-for-dollar but will offer a tip amount in the neighborhood of the final bill not just my share.Ive found the extra few bucks goes a long way to avoiding conflict in an otherwisehappy and peaceful settingeven though you dont actually owethat much.We cant just split it evenly? If you get that question in response to your perfectly reasonable offering, thats your queue to sever your lunch relationship with those people. Running up the bill with expensive meals and asking a much more frugal person to pay more than their fair share isnt the mark of true friendship, and I personally avoid engaging with people like that for lunch or otherwise.You like to entertain for friends and family, but you always seem to be the person who pays for food, drink, and entertainment.Try to throw a BYOB/F Bring Your Own Food/Beer party instead of offering to supply everything. Or at the very least, establish an understanding that everyone is expected to at least bring something to the party. A side dish. A six-pack of booze. Something.Freeloading time is over. Even if you have to buy something from the store instead of making it, thats fine. Everyone makes a contribution.Another option would be to encourage someone else to take a turn as the host. It is implied that the host will spend a little more on entertainment events because they want people to have a good time at their house. When youre always hosting, you are always signing yourself up to spend a little extra on peoples happiness. Instead, consider rotating homes for the next few dinner parties to help split up the cost.The gifts you give are always worth way more than the gifts you receive.First, look inward a nd examine your personality. For some of us, it genuinely makes us happy to spend money on other people, to see the smile on their face and excitement in their eyes, and we are willing to pay extra for a more expensive gift in order to obtain that level of joy both for the other person as well as for us. In this case, it might be okay to spend more.However, that doesnt necessarily mean that consistently spending more money than other people on gifts is always a good thing. If you feel resentful that people arent matching your level of investment in gifts, simply change your investment. If they are used to getting gifts of a certain quality from you, tell them that youre trying to watch your finances a bit more and need to save a little bit more money (or spend less). Match their investment instead.Orif your group of friends tends to spend hundreds of dollars on gifts, but youre only able to spend a fraction of that, be honest and upfront. Its easier to set and manage expectations f rom the very beginning than awkwardly explain why you gave someone hand-made mittens when they got you a $500 handbag.Is it ever a good idea to offer someone a loan during a rough patch?Sure I am not against helping someone out with a little cash when they need it. But, the larger concern is making sure the request is coming from an honest and trustworthy person.If they have a history of not following through with their agreements or are flakey people, thats an indication youll never see that money again. You should never feel bad about looking out for your own financial well-being first. If you dont, no one else will either. Its okay to be selfish.Like Ive said several times before, I consider all loan moneygone as if it were a gift. If it get it back, then cool. Otherwise, Ill chalk that up to a good deed and move on with my life, likely without the involvement of the person who preferred not to uphold their end of the deal.This article originally appeared on ThinkSaveRetire.You m ight also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

How to stop people interrupting you when youre trying to work

How to stop people interrupting you when youre trying to workHow to stop people interrupting you when youre trying to workInterruption overload is the new workplace affliction.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraIn the industrial age, people used to be able to interrupt you at work only by phoning or walking into your office.Today, information workers are faced with ever-increasing online distractions.Interruptions are everywhere, and personal productivity is suffering.51.5% of people are interrupted frequently throughout the day according to a RescueTime survey.For half the people we spoke to, interruptions were a constant threat to their focus. With an additional 46.5% saying they get interrupted at least a few times a day,writesJory MacKaySwitching attention can deplete your cognitive resources that can be devoted to focusing on any given task.Even the mere expectation of an emai l or a message can distract you from committing fully to a task.The profusion of communications channels is definitely harmful to productivity because it leads to more interruptions, says Jakob Nielsen,People who get distracted from a task struggle to get back to it and regain focus. And they also waste time trying to recover from interruptions.For people doing knowledge workthe most highly paid employeesevery time you are interrupted it takes 515 minutes to fully recapture your train of thought and get back to being completely immersed in your main task, says Nielsen.Some interruption like notifications can be addictive if you dont actively dont something about them.Answering emails can also be addictive. You feel you have accomplished something but in the long-term, you can losing focus from high-value work.Emails and instant messages contribute to productivity but without management, they distract us from the real work.Interruptions can eat up 28 tausend milliarden wasted hours a year, at a loss of almost $1 trillion to the U.S. economy,explainsJonathan Spira, author ofOverload How Too Much Information Is Hazardous To Your Organization.Make your unavailable time known to your colleaguesShare your calendar with your colleagues to make it easier for them to know when you occupied with important tasks.Its a simple but effective way to limit interruptions.Let people know when you are available, and when you are not.Make it clear that during your unavailable time, they should only interrupt you if they have to.Or better still, you and your co-workers can agree on a signal, a symbol, or anything that makes it clear to everyone that you are unavailable.If you are a manager and handle urgent issues as and when they arise, this may not be easy to implement, especially when your goal is to get people talking and giving you feedback.Stop interrupting yourselfYou are probably interrupting yourself more than you know.Browser tabs, clutter on your desk, and notifications are the biggest distractions when you want to get stuff done.When working on your important stuff, close all tabs that have no relevance to the work in progress or disconnect completely.If interruptions consistently rob you of time and energy, build a system to monitor your work behavior, and find out which distractions are highly disruptive.Turn off the automatic alert on e-mail and check it manually, say, three times a day. Use a timer or thePomodoro techniqueto single task successfully.Instead of cranking through a lot of tasks and multi-tasking, learn to focus on important tasks and single-task.Use the two-minute ruleDeal immediately with all interruptions that take two minutes or less.Two minutes is short enough to prevent loss of engagement when you have to get back to your task quickly.If email takes up a lot of your day, write shorter emails.The simple change of limiting yourself to 45 sentences per email will make a big difference.Take the number of jas you think your emai l should be, cut that number in half, and thats what your word count should be.Use atriggerHeadphone is a great trigger that can help you assume focused mode.It can easily send the right signal to people that you are not available.You can listen to calm tracks that can help you stay in the flow.You could even have an album or playlist that gets you in the mood to work and listen to that as part of your routine.Research supports listening to music at work. Its beenfoundthat listening to music can increase accuracy and speed, with 9 out of 10 workers performing better when music is playing.Sometimes, you dont even have to play music, and youll still be left alone.Start an interrupters logThis is a simple record of your interruptions in the course of a day.There is a growing body of research that shows that self-monitoring massively reduces the time spent on low-value work and interruptions.Use smart monitoring to determine the types of interruptions you experience daily. This means mo nitoring the activity and the nature of the interruptionthose related to your current task and unrelated ones, and whether they are important or urgent.Mark down the person interrupting you, and the date and time it occurs.Try it for at least a week, and analyze the information.If you can identify the source of your interruptions, you will be able to put strategies in place to minimize them.Closing thoughtsEveryday interruptions can be a key barrier to managing your time effectively.In our digital age, attention management is the new focus.Interruptions will get worse if you dont do something about them.Start every day with an interruption plan and stick to it. The key to controlling them is to know what they are and to plan for them in your daily schedule.Cut off distractions. Own your attention.Want to get more done in a day than most people do in aweek?You need systems, not goals. Im creating a new course,Systems For Getting Work Doneto help you create a personal productivity sys tem to get 10X more done in less time.Sign up to be notified when it launches.This article first appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Alternative fees go mainstream

Alternative fees go mainstreamAlternative fees go mainstreamVault Law Blog special legal correspondent Raj Selvadurai is down in Washington, DC this morning at a symposium sponsored by BisNow on rapidly changing relations between law firms and corporate law departments. The panel includes Citigroups GC Michael Helfer and 3 of BigLaws biggest machers Eric Friedman of Skadden, Bruce McLean of Akin Gump, and Tom Yannucci of Kirkland Ellis. The topic The tectonic shift in the legal profession, including alternative fee arrangements (including fixed fees and performance incentives), the role of junior associates (or lack thereof), changing expectations for results and delivery of services, and more.One interesting aspect of the discussion is the public airing of alternative fee arrangements expectations and practices. According to Helfer, alternative fee arrangements account for 30% of Citigroups total legal spend (the bulk of that fixed fee), and plans to increase that percentage. All t o the panelists reported that their firm use discount (or alternative, or special, depending on the firms jargon) fees to varying degrees. Discount rates make up about 15% of Akins revenues andabout 10% of Kirklands (most all in litigation). Skadden has just begun experimenting with alternative arrangements, which currently constitute less than 10% of the firms total. Questions to Helfer Is it relevant to GCs how law firms are run? Do they care about law firm profitability? Paraphrased Answer Yes, of course. GCs value stability and morale in their outside firms. But what is most essential is developing and maintaining business trust, and key to that is flexibility and reasonableness of billing arrangements. For example, clients should bedrngnis be expected to subsidize the training of junior associates. -posted by brian